Navigating Postpartum with a Toddler in Tow: Strategies for a Smooth Transition
Bringing home a new baby is a big adjustment for everyone—but when you have a toddler in the mix, the transition can feel even more overwhelming. Your once-little one is suddenly looking so big, and they may have a lot of feelings (big and small) about their new sibling. The good news? With a little preparation and some realistic expectations, you can create a smoother postpartum experience for your whole family. Here’s how:
1. Prep Your Toddler Before Baby Arrives
Even before your baby is born, start setting the stage for a positive transition. Here are some ways to do that:
Talk About the Baby: Keep it simple and age-appropriate. Books about becoming a big sibling can be a great tool.
Practice Baby Life: Let your toddler help set up baby gear or practice “gentle touches” on a doll.
Adjust Routines Gradually: If changes (like a new bedtime or childcare arrangement) are coming, start shifting before baby arrives.
2. Prioritize Connection
Your toddler might feel a little displaced when a newborn suddenly takes up so much of your attention. Here’s how to help them feel secure:
Special One-on-One Time: Even just 10-15 minutes of uninterrupted play can make a big difference.
Involve Them in Baby Care: Let them hand you a diaper, choose a onesie, or “help” in simple ways.
Acknowledge Their Feelings: If they express frustration or jealousy, validate their emotions: “It’s hard when baby needs so much attention.”
3. Set Up Toddler-Friendly Systems
Life with a toddler and a newborn is a juggling act—make things easier by creating simple systems:
Snack Stations: Have easy-to-grab, toddler-friendly snacks ready to go.
Activity Bins: Fill a few small bins with toys, books, or quiet activities they can do independently.
Safe Spaces: Set up a space where they can play nearby while you’re feeding the baby.
4. Be Strategic with Baby’s Sleep & Feeding Times
Your toddler’s needs don’t pause just because baby needs to eat or nap. A few ways to balance both:
Nurse or Bottle-Feed During Toddler Meals: This way, they’re occupied while you’re feeding the baby.
Use Babywearing: A carrier can be a lifesaver for keeping baby close while having hands free for your toddler.
Capitalize on Naps: Use baby’s nap time for quality one-on-one time with your toddler—or a much-needed break for yourself.
5. Ask for (and Accept) Help
This season is not the time to try to do everything yourself.
Let Friends and Family Pitch In: Whether it’s bringing a meal or playing with your toddler for an hour, say yes to support.
Consider Postpartum Doula Support: A postpartum doula can help with everything from baby care to sibling transitions.
Lower Expectations: Some days will be messy. Prioritize the basics—everyone fed, safe, and somewhat rested—and call it a win.
6. Take Care of Yourself, Too
It’s easy to put yourself last, but your well-being matters.
Fuel Your Body: Keep snacks and water within reach (yes, you too!).
Rest When You Can: Even if it’s just closing your eyes for five minutes while your toddler watches a show.
Give Yourself Grace: Parenting two little ones is hard work. Be kind to yourself in the process.
Adjusting to life with a newborn and a toddler is no small feat, but with preparation, support, and a little flexibility, you can find a rhythm that works for your family. This season won’t last forever—but the bond between your children will. Hang in there, and don’t forget to celebrate the small wins along the way!
This blog was written by Alix, a dedicated doula in Montreal, Canada, and the founder of TENDER.LY. She provides expert pregnancy, birth, postpartum, and infant feeding support to help families feel confident and cared for. Whether you're preparing for birth, navigating the fourth trimester, or looking for feeding guidance, Alix offers compassionate, personalized support.