If You Have ADHD and Just Had a Baby
Spoiler: It’s Not You. It’s the System.
You’ve just had a baby. Your brain already ran on 87 tabs open and 6 of them playing sound—before you were responsible for a tiny human who can’t tell time, poops without warning, and somehow needs 47 things at once.
Let’s just say… postpartum + ADHD is not for the faint of heart. And if you're feeling overstimulated, disorganized, exhausted, and slightly like you're unraveling—you're not alone. And you're not doing it wrong.
First Things First: This Is a Lot.
ADHD doesn’t pause when the baby arrives. In fact, all those "executive functions" (like planning, prioritizing, remembering, initiating tasks, or switching gears without spiraling) are the exact skills that get completely steamrolled in postpartum life. Now add sleep deprivation, hormonal shifts, and a crying baby who can’t give you feedback in bullet points—and it’s no wonder things feel intense.
This isn’t a personal flaw. This is a call for support. And structure. And snack breaks.
You Might Be…
Forgetting the last time you ate something with a utensil
Doing laundry but never putting it away
Getting hyperfocused on one task while everything else goes up in flames
Feeling sensory overload from the constant noise, mess, and touching
Bouncing between “I can do it all myself!” and “I need to move to a cabin and never speak again”
These are very real ADHD-parent experiences. They’re common, and they’re valid. And no, you don’t have to just power through.
Here’s What Might Actually Help
1. Lower the Bar (Like… Way Lower)
You don’t have to do everything. Or even most things. Think: survival > Pinterest. Sandwiches for dinner are beautiful. So is rewearing the same shirt. Adjust the bar to what actually feels doable—not what you saw someone else doing on social media.
2. Outsource Your Executive Functioning
Can’t organize the nursery, remember feeding times, or set up the stroller without crying? You don’t need to. This is where doulas (hi!) can step in with calm systems, checklists, and hands-on help that actually work with your brain.
3. Build In Anchors
ADHD brains love novelty and hate routines—but they can thrive with gentle structure. Instead of rigid schedules, try using anchors: things that already happen (like your morning coffee or baby’s nap) to tie in other habits, like taking your meds, eating protein, or drinking water.
4. Stash Snacks Everywhere
Seriously. Every diaper bag, nightstand, and hoodie pocket should have a snack. Bonus if it has protein and doesn’t melt. You’re more resourced, more present, and more you when your body’s actually fed.
5. Name the Noise
ADHD can make it hard to tune out background noise—and babies come with a lot of it. White noise machines, headphones, or even giving your partner a code word like “I need a silence bubble” can help turn the volume down when you’re hitting your limit.
And a Gentle Reminder…
You’re navigating early parenthood with a brain that processes the world in a beautifully complex, nonlinear way. That matters. That deserves support.
If you’re looking for care that actually gets how your brain works—and offers more than just “sleep when the baby sleeps”—TENDER.LY is here. We offer postpartum support built with neurodivergent parents in mind: soft structure, nonjudgmental care, and help that meets you exactly where you are.
Let’s figure it out together.
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This blog was written by Alix, a dedicated doula in Montreal, Canada, and the founder of TENDER.LY. She provides expert pregnancy, birth, postpartum, and infant feeding support to help families feel confident and cared for. Whether you're preparing for birth, navigating the fourth trimester, or looking for feeding guidance, Alix offers compassionate, personalized support.