Parenting as a Neurodivergent Person: Navigating the Journey with Self-Compassion

Mar 16

Parenting is an all-encompassing adventure, full of highs and lows, joy and exhaustion, and countless unexpected moments. When you’re a neurodivergent parent—whether you have ADHD, autism, or another neurodivergence—those experiences can take on an extra layer of complexity. From sensory overload to executive function challenges, parenting through a neurodivergent lens requires unique strategies, a deep well of self-compassion, and a support system that truly gets it.

You Are Not Alone

One of the most powerful realizations as a neurodivergent parent is that you are not alone. The world of parenting can sometimes feel isolating, particularly when mainstream advice doesn’t align with your needs or challenges. Traditional parenting tips that assume a high level of executive function, impulse control, or sensory regulation might not be as useful. But guess what? That doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means you need a different approach—one that honors the way your brain works.

Rethinking Parenting Norms

Neurodivergent parenting isn’t about fitting into a mold—it’s about creating a rhythm that works for you and your family. Some days, that might mean:

Using visual schedules and alarms to keep routines on track
Having a ‘low-demand’ parenting day when burnout is looming
Finding scripts or written reminders for common parenting moments
Relying on fidget toys, noise-canceling headphones, or dim lights to create a sensory-friendly home
Practicing co-regulation with your child, so you both feel safe and grounded

Neurodivergence isn’t something to fight against—it’s a perspective to embrace. Your parenting will be strongest when you acknowledge and honor your own needs as well as your child’s.

The Struggle with Executive Function

For parents with ADHD or executive function challenges, staying on top of schedules, meal prep, and household tasks can feel overwhelming. The key isn’t forcing yourself into rigid routines but instead finding ways to make tasks easier.

Automate what you can: Set up recurring grocery deliveries or use a meal service.
Outsource when possible: Whether it’s hiring a cleaning service once a month or swapping childcare with a friend, help is not a weakness.
Create external accountability: Use apps, checklists, or even text reminders from a trusted person to stay on track.
Batch tasks: Instead of stressing daily about meals, consider prepping snacks or lunches in bulk.

Parenting doesn’t have to be a one-person job, and adapting strategies to suit your strengths can make a world of difference.

Sensory Overload & Emotional Regulation

Many neurodivergent parents experience sensory overload. The noise, constant touch, and unpredictability of parenting can feel like too much. The key here is recognizing your limits before you hit a breaking point.

Build in quiet time – even if it’s just five minutes in a dark room.
Use noise management tools like earplugs or white noise machines.
Communicate needs to your child in a way they understand (e.g., "Mom needs a quiet moment before we start the game").
Find grounding techniques like deep breathing, weighted blankets, or pressure points to reset.

Just as you work to regulate your child’s emotions, your own nervous system deserves that same care and support.

Self-Compassion is the Foundation

Neurodivergent parenting isn’t about striving for perfection. It’s about recognizing that the way you parent may look different—and that’s okay. Your child doesn’t need a ‘perfect’ parent; they need one who loves them and models self-acceptance.

Celebrate the ways your neurodivergence makes you an incredible parent:

Your creativity in problem-solving
Your deep empathy and understanding
Your ability to connect with your child in unique and meaningful ways

When you allow yourself grace and adapt your parenting to work for you, you’re showing your child that self-acceptance is a strength, not a flaw.

Finding Support

If you’re looking for resources, support groups, or even one-on-one guidance, you don’t have to go it alone. TENDER.LY offers compassionate support for parents navigating their unique parenting journeys. Whether it’s through virtual coaching, resource packets, or simply a listening ear, we’re here to help you create a parenting approach that works for you and your family.

You are a good parent. You are doing enough. And your neurodivergence is not a barrier—it’s a beautiful part of who you are.

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**This blog was written by Alix**, a dedicated **doula in Montreal, Canada**, and the founder of **TENDER.LY**. She provides expert **pregnancy, birth, postpartum, and infant feeding support** to help families feel confident and cared for. Whether you're preparing for birth, navigating the fourth trimester, or looking for feeding guidance, Alix offers compassionate, personalized support.

Alix Myers